Are we going through a burnout trend?

Hi there!

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone celebrating - the mom moms, the grandmas, the dog moms, plant moms, the aunts, the mother figures, the want to be moms and any other definition I may have missed! I also understand that this can be a particularly challenging day for some of us who may have tough relationships or may have lost our mother figures - Boomer and I are here to give you an extra big warm hug.

Although my current role is only as a dog mom, from hearing stories of women around me who are mothers, I know that being a mother is one of the toughest (and rewarding) roles you can have in your life (if you choose to, ofc). One of the topics that come to mind while talking about being a mom is navigating other aspects of life (like career, travel, personal health etc.) and balancing it all.

Whether you are a mom or not, I know a lot of us struggle with work life balance. It’s actually one of my current biggest struggles and has been the most requested topic for the newsletter so today, I want to share some ways we can work towards finding better balance and more happiness!

A word I have been hearing more and more often is “burnout”, constantly feeling exhausted and like you are falling behind. If it is any consolation, it seems to be so much on the rise that if you are feeling this way, you definitely aren’t alone.

Recently, mental health terms seem to be getting trendy because of social media (words like gaslighting, narcissism, trigger, PTSD to name a few) so let’s first clarify on what being / feeling burnt out means. It means you are disengaged / checked out / feeling overwhelmed and not finding motivation or the willpower to keep doing what you are supposed to in the situation (most often used around work).

Typically it happens from a not suitable work environment (toxic culture, long hours, emotionally draining role, not enough support etc.) or not taking care of yourself or being too hard on yourself. One of the best ways to avoid burnout is to actively work on improving your work life balance.

How to prioritize your work life balance:

Achieving good work life balance requires a lot of effort and sometimes tough conversations in order to prioritize your physical, mental and emotional needs.

• Work on a task list for the day and prioritize by order of importance (I worked with my therapist to figure out that planning my next day at 6:30pm before I end my current day is super helpful for me. This way I can let go of the stress of uncompleted tasks and I can start the next day with a plan in place) I like physical planners like this to help! Set tasks that don’t bleed into others, if your time is up for a task move on to the next so you can keep the day moving instead of feeling like you are falling behind.

• Communicating boundaries - this was extremely challenging for me to practice at my consulting job when I was leading a project and felt like it would go up in flames if I wasn’t available at all times. It got so bad that I was having really bad wrist issues from being on my phone so much and I realized I had to draw boundaries or I wouldn’t even be able to do my job. What I ended up doing was delegating a few hours to someone else to be “on call” and telling the team to reach out to that person first. Just creating this small boundary helped so much. And chances are, for most of our cases, if you aren’t available right away, things will NOT go up in flames.

• Have a set of daily non-negotiables that boost your overall health that you will always make fit into your day. Just a week of doing this consistently and I am noticing a big difference, my May non-negotiables are:

  • 1h of movement - from gym to walking Boomer etc, any of it counts

  • 10 mins of meditation

  • Powering down for an hour before bed - no blue light or stimulation from electronics, kindle is ok!

• Take mental health days - some tough love here but do you want to take a day off or do you want this to fester for a long time and have it impact your day-to-day for weeks or months at a time? Please take some time off before you have to do damage control.

• If you are working from home, have a separate working space and do not bring your work to “safe zones” like the dinner table or to bed. This just washes away the boundaries you are trying to draw and makes it that much harder to have the life balance when every space seems like an ok space to be working. My work space is a small area in the bedroom but I leave my laptop there and don’t bring it other places - having a standing desk set up to stretch my legs a little mid workday and it really helps!

• Same with having clear end to work days, if you get an email outside of work hours, even if it takes you 30s to respond to it, try to not respond till the next work day - making those boundaries tighter can really help you feel better mentally.

• Remember you can’t fill from an empty cup so take care of yourself so you can take care of others around you. Even if it is 10 mins of you having uninterrupted time to focus on yourself. Be vocal about needing this because others around you (even if they may not get it at first) will see the impact it has on you and how you show up to the world. This could also include a self care activity like taking a long shower/bath, getting a massage, doing your own nails, reading, coloring etc.

• Take time as often as you can to go outside and play with your pet - it’s a great way to boost your happiness hormones, taking time to really be present with your pet can go such a long way in helping your stress levels. Nature is already incredibly calming - it’s why “touching grass” is such a popular thing everyone recommends!

• If your work load / environment is not suiting you, reach out to a supervisor about how you can feel better supported. Delegate tasks when possible to help lower your stress levels as well!

• Understand how your brain works to come up with a personalized productivity plan including time management skills that work for YOU.

• Take your vacation days. It might be challenging for the days or week after you get back from vacation but when you look back on life, those memories will form such a huge part of it!

• Practice more mindfulness - I truly think that this provides even more contentment and satisfaction day to day in doing tasks instead of multitasking (which usually ends up not saving time but just making you feel more overwhelmed). Use apps to set time limits on things that distract you during work and that turn off notifications after work hours

• Spend time on things that nourish and fulfill you, like a new hobby or doing something creative. It’s also a great way to be social so it can be a 2-in-1 win! People close to you who understand you can also be great for this so plan a social hangout (even if it’s just a chill evening together) so fill your cup!

I hope this has given you some ideas on what you are try to find better balance and more happiness in your life. I would love to stay updated on whether you try something from this list or have other ideas. I really want this to be a collaborative space so I love love hearing back from you.

Travel and anxiety don’t go together you say? Have you met me? LOL I’m the embodiment of someone who makes travel her biggest priority but also has so much anxiety around travel so here are ways I deal with this:

Let’s start with flying because if there’s one thing about me, I will offer to drive 15h so I don’t have to get on a 3h flight. Boomer helps me immensely during this, but I also recognize that not everyone has a dog that can help so here are things I do before a flight that help with my anxiety :

• have a solid protein filled meal

• avoid or limit caffeine intake for the day

• pack the day before (I love packing cubes to help stay organized)

• make a list of things you need to grab the day of to make sure you aren’t stressing about it

• do some deep breathing or meditation before leaving for the airport

• get to the airport with plenty of time to spare

• don’t bring too much with you in your carry on. The rush of the security area always stresses me so the less items I have with me, the better.

• get to your gate early and bring a book or download a TV show to stay distracted during flight

• avoid alcohol at all costs at the airport or on the plane

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In general while traveling, here are some other tips that help. I will focus a future newsletter on how I plan trips and will share some more detailed information there but here are some starters:

• Limit having an overly packed schedule while traveling, it adds in more stress while you are already in a new place

• plan out quiet or downtimes. When a trip is longer than a couple of days, I need to have an evening of quiet or down time where it’s no pressure hangout or watch TV or read so I can recharge myself

• advocate for your needs - if you aren’t interested in doing something, it’s always better to vocalize it than hide about it and go to the experience and build your stress levels

• avoid big touristy spots during the busiest times - crowds overwhelm me so I prefer to do tours (if I do any) early morning

• plan in some nature related activity when possible - whether this be hiking or walking in the park or enjoying dinner by the beach - being close to nature helps calm me

One easy/healthy recipe to try : 

We ate this high protein loaded potato taco bowls for lunch this week and it was delicious!!

One positive affirmation to remember : 

My worth is not defined by my to-do list

One thing I am actually obsessed with :

My current makeup routine makes my skin feel happy and I feel pretty with it (I love a natural look with products that don’t irritate my skin) so here are my favorites!

ICYMI we have a huge life update!!! Watch the video here, we can’t wait to share new types of adventures with you all!

Remember to be kind to yourself while continuing to push to be a better human, mother, father, friend and human. Have a great week ahead. Together I know we can find more health and happiness!

With fluffy hugs, 

Charishma + Boomer (@life.with.a.landcloud)