Living with panic attacks

Hi there!

It’s Boomer’s 6th birthday today!!!! Woooooo!!! This little pup came into my life and completely changed it and I can’t be more grateful for the day he was born and chose us. As a lot of you know, Boomer is also my task trained service dog and one of the tasks he does is Deep Pressure Therapy that helps with my panic attacks. When I have shared about this in the past, I have also heard from a lot of you who struggle with panic attacks or supporting loved ones who do and so today, I wanted to share some things that help me get to the other side.

For the travel section this week, sparked by our conversations on Instagram, I put together a short idea list on how we save money when we travel. I plan to share more detailed newsletters on travel, budgeting and everything in between so stay tuned for the next few newsletters as well.

Panic attacks can feel absolutely awful when you are having one. Common physical symptoms include a fun combination of sweating, nausea, chills or hot flashes, dizziness, numbness or tingling and/or hyperventilating. They can happen anywhere and anytime and are not usually triggered by something. Due to some of my past history, I have had a combination of anxiety and panic attacks and along the past several years found certain things that help me during it.

What to do during a panic attack :

Panic attacks can feel really scary and often it helps to have someone to help you during it. If you feel safe enough, it would be beneficial to share some things ahead of time that a loved one can do for you when you are having one. I will also share some ideas that I have found helpful below so if you are the loved one in this situation, feel free to skip to that section.

It seems very scary to ground oneself during a panic attack so here are some ways that help me ground myself so I can get back to a calmer state of mind

• 5-4-3-2-1 grounding - list out loud 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. This really helps you get out of your headspace and come more into your body.

• Cold shock - Usually grabbing ice from the fridge, washing my hands or face in extremely cold water really helps shock / reset the nervous system

• DPT - One of the ways Boomer helps me is when I am in the middle of a panic attack (I usually can’t speak much) so I’ve taught him a hand cue signal to lay on top of me and he lays on my legs till I have calmed down and my heart rate is back to normal and it’s been so helpful. This can also be performed with a big plush toy or a weighted blanket as well

• Box breathing (4 counts in 4 counts out)

• Breathing to calm the nervous system - (4 counts in, 7 counts out)

• Butterfly tapping

• Eating really tangy / sour candy

• Sniff something with a really strong smell

What to do after a panic attack:

It’s really important to practice lots of self love and self care after a panic attack. It can feel particularly embarrassing (if it happened in public) and you can feel really drained, exhausted and defeated so this is the time to do those small things that make you feel calm and relaxed. I’ve slowly worked on building out what this looks like for me but here are some starting points for you to find what helps you practice self care!

• Binge watching an easy TV show (I love reality TV for this)

• Ordering in your favorite food

• Taking a long shower

• Have a picnic outside

• Go watch the sunset

• Nature / forest bathing

• Calling a loved one / someone comforting

• Adult coloring book

• Listen to your favorite music

• Go out for a walk

In the hours and even few days after a panic attack, I recommend taking it easy. I find that sometimes my attacks are clustered and it’s because I push myself too much, too soon, so I highly recommend going slow and easy with yourself. Remember to do what you would tell your best friend to do in this situation.

What to do if someone around you is having a panic attack:

In this situation, I am going to assume that it is someone you know that is having a panic attack around you. A panic attack is extremely personal and even embarrassing so I don’t think a stranger could help me (even if that was their intention) so I personally cannot recommend helping a stranger out in this case. But if someone you care about is having a panic attack, your support can be SO HELPFUL so here are some things you can do

• Before we go into what you can do to help, here is one thing you should absolutely NOT do - Please do not tell the person things that might make them even more aware of the situation, saying things like “Everyone is watching”, “Come on hold it together” etc can be detrimental to someone in the middle of a panic attack.

• I usually can’t talk (not in long sentences) during a panic attack so to start off, refrain from asking questions like “what’s wrong?”, “what’s going on”, “talk to me”, “how can I help you” etc. Instead, it’s helpful to just assure the person that they are safe, they are ok and you will be right there with them.

• You can ask yes or no questions like “would you like me to hold your hand?” or some other way you feel like the person likes to be supported

• If they are hyperventilating, tell them to breathe with your count and either use 4 in / 4 out or 4 in / 7 out count till their breathing has slowed down

• Once they are breathing more normal, you can help ground them by asking questions that are easy to answer and obvious, for example, “What color is my shirt?”, “What’s your name?”, “What does the fabric on your clothes feel like?”, “What sound do you hear?” - try to involve as much of the senses as possible

• Let them know you are staying with them and reiterate that they are ok and you will help them through it.

This can be tough and sudden as panic attacks can seem to come out of nowhere so it takes someone who is a little empathetic and aware to catch the symptoms but I know, from my own personal experience, that it can be so very helpful for someone who might be struggling. They will be so very grateful!

After getting a lot of requests on this topic, I want to share a quick list of ways we save money while traveling. Please let me know if these kind of things are helpful and I am happy to continue sharing more!

• Pay for everything with a credit card that gives you points back on all your purchases and has no foreign transaction fees. You won’t have to waste time and take a loss on converting to local currency and you are getting 1-2% back on all your purchases. You can then use those points to book future flights or stay. We currently have this Chase preferred card and they are currently running a bonus 60k points!

• Rent VRBO’s instead of hotels - these may be cheaper, give you a taste for the local culture, and you can cook some of your meals instead of always eating out.

• Homeswap to save money using a network like Kindred. You can use code “DAN.COH” to move up on the 20,000 person waitlist!

• When purchasing flights, always use a website like Expedia that can compare prices across all airlines and has other features like price tracking so you can track for the lowest prices. We also like using other services from Expedia so we can earn one key cash that can also be redeemed for future travel!

• Don’t be afraid to travel on the shoulder season or off peak; you can still have an incredible experience but will likely save money on your stays and have less crowds to deal with (win win)

• Most travel destinations have incredible free activities such as music, hiking, and other cultural events. Don’t think that you need to always purchase tours and sightseeing.

One easy/healthy recipe to try : 

Yummy black pepper Tofu!

One positive affirmation to remember : 

I am doing the best I can and that is enough

One thing I am actually obsessed with :

I spent years trying to find the PERFECT TEE. It’s nice to have a staple white and black tee in your closet that goes with everything and I felt like either the quality was too low or the fabric or fit wasn’t great and after trying several brands and styles, I have found my perfect tee and it’s from Cuts Clothing and linked!

I hope this is helpful, please do share if you have any other things that help you during a panic attack. I would love to hear what you particularly liked about this newsletter and if you have a recommendation for a topic for me to cover in the future (just hit reply, I read all responses and take them into account while planning my next newsletter)

Have a wonderful week ahead, see you out there on your favorite social media platform! Here is everywhere you can find us. Together, I know we can find more health and happiness!

With fluffy hugs, 

Charishma + Boomer (@life.with.a.landcloud)